Issues of Control In A Relationship

Have you ever been, or are you now, in or subject to control in a relationship?

Sure, there are “control freaks” that have the desire or the need to control their SO. There are also those whose predilection is to be controlled. Often they find each other and live happily ever after, but not often enough.

I was talking last night with a lady who is married to a biker (affiliation shall remain anonymous) and although I know her to be a strong and independent woman on her own, she jumps when he talks. Last night's weather was nasty here – we had freezing rain and sleet which quickly gummed-up the roads. Business was way off and we were closing early, but evidently not early enough for this lady's husband.

Thing is, she doesn't drive. In fact, she lives a 5-minute walk from the club. OK, he was concerned about her slipping, but come on – she's a dancer; she has excellent balance and motor responses. She's young and healthy and this is actually a good neighborhood. But when he called and told her COME HOME NOW!, she all but tripped over her own feet getting changed out of her costume and into her street clothes.

 I understand that the biker culture has its own rules. I've also known enough bikers to realize that they, like any other group of people, vary greatly, from the highly moral to the absolutely despicable. But I thought that this was definitely a control issue display.

As always, balance is what should be sought; control at times, relinquish it at others. Some things we can NOT control – it is said that time and tide wait for no man – nor do I think that we SHOULD be capable of controlling everything.

Like any other aspect of a relationship I believe that a certain amount of give-and-take is the norm, and that one personality may naturally be the dominant one. That's fine, but I also wonder how many are in such relationships unwillingly...

So my question is, have you ever been accused of being too “controlling”? Or have you been told “Get out of that relationship – you're being controlled!”?